Thursday, March 21, 2019

Panic

Hey, look, a new form of panic attack.
But the old ones were so enjoyable!?

What to expect when the world starts to offer you love?

That’s what it feels like. Like the world is prodding with a little kindness and you need to sneak off to a bathroom so as to not disturb your current life with

...being happy?

What do you do when you feel your feet slipping
Like you’re standing too close to the edge of a great cliff but
your legs are jello, and your brain is spinning as though you’re already falling.

Vertigo? Jimmy Stewart? Rear Window without Grace Kelly. 

Imposter syndrome, thanks Gaiman
thanks for bringing that ole’ chestnut back into view.
(I still love you) 

What do you do when half of you wants to thrive. To become who you want to be, but the other half. tells you to stay put and lean into the frustration  because that’s what you deserve... 

I’m writing again. Something about home. Something about starting to feel fresh again. 

But maybe that’s fresh like the cigarettes used to be. Exciting. Then smoked. Then crushed. 



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